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Manscaping: Really, You Need To!

It’s a fact that most men, especially those over 50, forget about one of the most important elements of style and appearance: Grooming! We call it manscaping, and it means trimming your fur in all the right places.

A lot of men of all ages have an abundance of hair in the wrong places. We’ve all seen Sasquatch at the beach or sweating on the basketball court–is there anything worse than a wet coat of hair that’s not on your pet? Or armpit hair so long you could hang Christmas ornaments on it. Even worse, as men age and hit manopause, hair starts growing like monstrous filaments where previously there may have existed only smooth skin: the ears, the nostrils, and the ball sac–the unholy trinity.

Now, don’t get me wrong, men of all ages should be manscaping, but age has it’s privileges, and in this case it’s inverse: younger men can get away with neglected hirsutism where older men cannot. So where should we groom and to what extent? Do we create topiaries from our pubes to tell a story or give directions, or do we go with the hairless chihuahua look? Well, there’s probably a sweet spot somewhere in between. What do women think we should do?

In a survey which included 1500 women, ranging from 18 to 55, questions regarding certain grooming habits were posed, simply along the lines of whether they were appropriate or not. Some of the findings were quite obvious while others, not so much.

Women, like men, have varying “tastes” when it comes to men and their appearance. Obviously guys like Brad Pitt, Dwayne Johnson, and the late Paul Newman have universal appeal. But what all these men have in common is that they look good–no comb-overs, no wild hairs, and very little body hair. Shaving one’s balding head is seen as a positive by most women in the survey. So was naturally graying hair rather than a dye job. Clean shaven chest hair, either close or smooth, was also a favorite. Avoiding a preposterous unibrow was also high on the list of the survey.

There was almost universal agreement that visible nose and ear hair was a turnoff. Understandable, since it very often can be a repository of debris that can initiate a gag reflex in the observer!

But what about the nether regions, the treasure island, the kibbles and bits, the pylon of pleasure, the balls of fury, the…well you get it, the genitalia. Very few women were into hedgerows or briar patches, and those that were tended to be outdoorsy. Perhaps that look creates a subconscious sense of warmth and safety, or a place to hide. Hard to say. But you’ll have to judge your partner on that.

The majority of women surveyed liked well-trimmed junk, not too short to create stubble burn, but also not too long to leave a nagging itch in the throat from an escaped curly-Q long after the carnal event.

There was almost universal agreement that visible nose and ear hair was a turnoff. Understandable, since it very often can be a repository of debris that can initiate a gag reflex in the observer!

And more than expected liked the silky smoothness of a hairless pubic mons and scrotal sac, the texture perhaps reminding them of the first taste of sweet, home-made whipped cream, cheesecake, or flan. Another possibility is the truthfulness of the bare landscape, assuring them, “that’s right, ma’am, nothing to hide here. Just the wide open plains, safe and sound.”

There are lots of ways to manscape. Some people use scissors, others tweeze, and some use depilatory agents like “Nair.” Avoid the family jewels and baton with Nair because it will feel like Satan’s fiery breath for days after you use it. Stick to the back and chest for that.

Most men use a shaver. This works best for most areas–head, armpits, pubes, and chest. There are great electric nasal groomers that get way up into the nostrils to grab even the early sprouts. The newer shavers have plastic guards on the blades to prevent you from accidentally deli-slicing your scrotum skin, and also to reduce nicks and scratches.

So the bottom line is that manscaping is a must: you need to do it. How much and what style you use is up to you. Choose what you like, but consider your partner as well. Enjoy the journey!

Check out our manopod, “Manscaping For Dummies,” here!

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About The Author
The Manopause Team
The Manopause Team
An overeducated and underpaid team of writers, researchers and very opinionated men and women of all ages. Venturing into heretofore uncharted online territory, they are dedicated to entertaining, educating, inspiring and uniting men over 50 ...and the people who love them.
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