1. Bust out a t-shirt that says, “Hard Rock Cafe — Wuhan.”
2. As a side job, take up walking Dobermans.
3. Wear a Speedo. Just a Speedo.
4. Get a giant version of one of those stickers that say, ‘Hello, My Name Is…Cluster Starter.’
5. A baseball cap emblazoned with ‘Asymptomatic’ should do the job.
6. Work on your golf swing as you walk down the street. Long irons.
7. Don’t just wear a mask, go full Darth Vader helmet.
8. Be the weird guy with an iguana on your shoulder.
9. Carry a little sign that says, ‘Ask Me About Scientology!’
10. Grow Letterman’s Unabomber beard.
