ALL MEN HATE THE BEACH, going to the beach, and the idea of a beach day. Or maybe, all men hate sunbathing. Or maybe it’s that all dads hate the beach. Ask any man (and we’re talking men here, not teens or college-age boys or men who, fully clothed, like to walk their dogs at the beach after hours). I’m sure it’s a mixture of all varieties of men, although I’ve seen men sunbathing here and there,
There has never been a time in history better than now to be alive. Or a better time to try to save the world. Really! If you live in the “First World” of industrialized nations, you can literally be homeless and sick, and be better off than 87 percent of the rest of the world. Humans worldwide today are healthier, more educated, and living longer than 99 percent of humanity thus far. There are at
And when I write “gentlemen” (and for many women who are just as guilty), I mean all men, because many of you aren’t gentle in words or deeds even though you’re convinced you are. Because our culture is obsessed with sex and sexualizing women from a young age and on throughout and until death— Because our culture (and most cultures) is a “rape culture,” filled with discriminatory and unattainab
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a vegetarian, his wife, and six lesbians walk into a Hooters. No? I’ve been to Hooters twice, and both times it happened to be with a group of close friends (the lesbians) and my wife, all while I was still a vegetarian. I know, I know, these jokes write themselves. It was more a geographical anomaly rather than a conscious decision. Suffice to say it was a
WE ALL FACE A HUNDRED DECISIONS a day from what to feed the kids to whether or not we should have that third beer. The question of the essential self and how we want to portray ourselves can be simplified—sometimes. But when that isn’t enough, try this short list of what to do in those times of peril when you’re wondering who can help guide us through each shadowy valley. These archetypes are the
YOU WOKE UP ONE DAY, fully grown, probably in your 30s and with kids, and something about aftershave or toolboxes excited you to your core, and making time to putter around the woodshed, backyard, or basement just made sense. Your metabolism slowed down, and you started seeing the world through slower, more wizened eyes. What happened? You got old. You may actually be young, but chances are you’re
I DON’T WANT TO MULCH THIS SATURDAY. I know it’s our big to-do for when the weather’s right, but I don’t want to. I want to do things young people with kids do, like a soccer game or dance recital or gymnastics. Like the old days. Like the good old days. Remember when the kids were young—too young to be saying things like “I kind of miss the old, good days”—but they would always say that, exactly
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