There are many lists and video compilations on the internet featuring the best and most famous movie & TV quotes. Classic lines that everyone is familiar with and some of us like to repeat, like “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse,” “To boldly go where no man has gone before,” “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” and “No soup for you!”
But this is NOT one of those lists. This list consists of much more obscure dialogue from movies and TV episodes that most people haven’t seen or wouldn’t remember. These are my personal favorite quotes that made such an impression the first time I heard them that they stayed with me for the rest of my life and are still worthy of repeating today.
I’ve limited myself to quotes that stand on their own, without any context, and are meaningful to me because they were either so profound, so funny or just so damn memorable. So, in no particular order, here’s my list of…
The Best Obscure Movie & TV Quotes
(Disclaimer: In some cases, I am trying recall specific lines that I haven’t heard in years, so I may not be quoting them all verbatim.)
1. “He who dares nothing, deserves nothing.”
– Ronald Colman in If I Were King
2. “Sometimes the magic works. Sometimes, it doesn’t.”
– Chief Dan George in Little Big Man
3. “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.”
– Edward Norton in Fight Club
4. “Sometimes, those who deserve the most blame also deserve the most compassion.”
– Unknown actress in Patrick Melrose
5. “You gotta own your own days and name ’em, each one of ’em, every one of ’em, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you. And that ain’t just for weekends.”
– Jason Robards in A Thousand Clowns
6. “By the time you’re 40, you’ve pretty much earned the face you have.”
– Michael Tucker on L.A. Law
7. “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”
– Timothy Olyphant on Justified
8. “It’s dangerous to challenge a system unless you’re completely at peace with the thought that you’re not going to miss it when it’s gone.”
– Elliott Gould in Little Murders
9. “For civilization to survive, the human race has to remain civilized.”
– Rod Serling on The Twilight Zone.
10. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.”
– Norm on Cheers
11. “What if everybody felt that way?”
“Then I’d be a fool to feel any differently.”
– Richard Benjamin & Alan Arkin in Catch-22
12. “When I say, ‘I understand’ it doesn’t mean I agree. It doesn’t mean I understand. It doesn’t even mean I’m listening. I just say it because it seems to make people happy.”
– Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men
13. “I used to have an exercise bike, but I had to get rid of it. The ashtray kept falling off the handlebars.”
– Selma, the chain-smoking bailiff on Night Court
14. “Women: can’t live with them, can’t kill ’em.”
– Tom Arnold in True Lies
15. “I’m gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me one of them Keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.”
– Willie Nelson in Electric Cowboy
16. “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”
– Woody Allen in Annie Hall
17. “I wouldn’t fuck you with Bea Arthur’s dick.”
– Jeffery Ross to Sandra Bernhard on The Friar’s Club Roast Of Jerry Stiller
18. “Your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion.”
– Sweet Dee on It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
19. “Suck the shit out of my ass!!!”
Laura Dern in Citizen Ruth
20. “All the jokes can’t be good. You’ve got to expect that once in a while.”
– Groucho Marx in Animal Crackers.
Bonus Quote: “Her ass is so big it could affect the trajectory of a comet.”
– Scientist #2 on The Time Tunnel. (This one doesn’t really count because it turns out that I misheard it. He actually said, “That asteroid is so big it could affect the trajectory of a comet.” Which makes a lot more sense given the fact that he was talking to a room full of generals and scientists. But I liked it better the way I heard it and have managed to work it into my everyday conversations several times since.)
Interesting side note: I noticed while writing this list that we always say someone is “in” a movie but we always say that they’re “on” a TV show. I wonder why that is.
So, do you have any favorite obscure movie or TV show lines of your own? If so, share them with us in our Community Forum.
Check out these other selections from Manopause:
Movie Theater Memories: What Was Great About Going To The Movies by Richard Basis
TV’s First Generation by Bill Holslag
5 Movies You Must Watch After Retirement… Or Before by The Manopause Team
