14 Valentine’s Day Tweets To Make You Laugh No Matter How You’re Spending The Day

Valentine’s Day is usually a very love/hate holiday for people. Falling in love? LOVE it. Getting divorced? Hate it. Think it’s romantic? LOVE it. Think’s it’s pure commercialism? Hate it.

You get the point. It’s a holiday met with emotion- good or bad. At Manopause.com we figure the best way to approach a holiday of such polarizing views, is with a neutral emotion: humor.

Table of Contents

The Valentine’s Day Tweets You Need This Year

We have scoured the twitter feeds to bring you a collection of must-read tweets about February 14.

When Dinner For 2 Goes Wrong

Valentine’s Day plan:

1. Breakfast in bed
2. Chocolate covered Strawberries
3. Movie marathon
4. Dinner for 2
5. Regret eating 2 dinners
6. Cry alone.
— ᴋɪʀᴋᴏ✯ (@lShameIess) February 10, 2020

For The Man That Loves Free Shipping

This Valentine's Day, get your wife the gift that says "free shipping if bundled with three or more toiletries."
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 12, 2020

For Those Who Will Need Professional Advice

my therapist had the audacity to have hip surgery two weeks before valentine’s day when i specifically told her not to
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) February 12, 2020

For Those Who Just Want To Eat And Stay In Shape

https://twitter.com/JamieMacgregor_/status/960591425892179968?s=20&t=xx8YT7WZX444XvOGexax3g

For Those Who Want To Hideout…

Person: "You have any plans for Valentine's day?"

Me: pic.twitter.com/zpNUyrav9A
— Jack (@J4CKMULL) January 24, 2018

A Very Literal Interpretation Of A Valentine Date

"Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?"
Me: Yes… February 14th
— Zachary (@zacharywhyde) January 28, 2018

For The Recently Single Valentine

the only valentine’s day content I need pic.twitter.com/pOmsj45Tx5
— Maggy (@maggyvaneijk) February 2, 2019

For The Funny Valentine

Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.
— Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) January 24, 2015

For The Indecisive Valentine

Two types of people on Valentine's Day pic.twitter.com/mZHjdLjTUZ
— T-Foots (@t_foots) February 1, 2016

For The Harsh Valentine

If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember…. No one loves you on the other days of the year either
— Miguel (@migg_flores) February 4, 2016

For The Bitter Valentine

Is it just me. Or is Valentine’s Day absolutely EVERYWHERE this year. More than in the past? Or I’m just more bitter and single.
— It's all brain vomit (@Swearing_Queen) February 12, 2016

The Most Realistic Valentine Dinner

Love means never having to say anything because you're both looking at your smart phones
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) February 14, 2016

For The Valentine Who Dislikes Poetry

Roses are red, violets are blue, leave me alone.
— Zendaya (@Zendaya) February 14, 2018

For Those Allergic To Love

People on Valentine's Day: Love is in the air!
Me: pic.twitter.com/DxMLuldyS5
— Texts From Last Night (@TFLN) February 12, 2019

Share The Article

About The Author

Jaime Garza

Jaime Garza is a member of the Manopause Team who happens to be well-versed in the language of cocktails and alcohol. She graduated from UCLA with a degree in history, and found herself behind the stick, slinging drinks for nearly 8 years (clearly using that fancy degree). Writing has always been one of her hobbies, and now she’s combining her talents to bring you A+ booze knowledge and some incredible recipes.