Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who was married to his high school sweetheart, Karen. Jack loved Karen, but he couldn’t stand the idea of being married. He thought it was an outdated institution and didn’t understand why people still bothered with it. Unfortunately for Jack, Karen was the traditional type and had always dreamed of a big, beautiful wedding.
One day, Karen announced that she wanted to renew their wedding vows. Jack groaned inwardly at the thought of going through all that pomp and circumstance again. He tried to explain to Karen that it was unnecessary, but she wouldn’t hear of it. It’ll be romantic,” she said, “and we can invite all of our friends and family.”
Jack reluctantly agreed, but he made it clear that he wasn’t excited about the idea. “Fine,” Karen said, “but you have to help with the planning.” Jack rolled his eyes and sighed. He knew he was in for a long and annoying ride.
The planning process was a nightmare. Karen had a million ideas, and Jack hated all of them. She wanted a fancy venue, an expensive caterer, and a live band. Jack suggested that they just go to the courthouse and get it over with, but Karen was not having it. “We’re not just renewing our vows,” she said, “we’re celebrating our love.”
Jack couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He didn’t understand why they needed to celebrate their love. They had been together for years, and he didn’t see the point in making a big deal out of it. But Karen was determined, and he didn’t want to upset her.
Finally, the day of the ceremony arrived. Jack was dreading it, but he put on a brave face and went through the motions. As they walked down the aisle, Karen looked beautiful in her white dress, and Jack felt a twinge of love for her. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all, he thought.
But as the ceremony went on, Jack’s annoyance with marriage resurfaced. The vows were sappy and over-the-top, and the music was too loud. Jack couldn’t wait for it to be over.
After the ceremony, they had a reception, and Jack was forced to mingle with Karen’s family and friends. He found himself stuck talking to Karen’s great-aunt Mildred, who told him about her bunions for what felt like hours.
Finally, the night was over, and Jack was relieved to be going home. But as they got into bed, Karen snuggled up to him and said, “Wasn’t that wonderful, Jack? I love you so much.” Jack sighed and thought to himself, “I love you too, Karen, but I’m never doing that again.”
From that day on, Jack made a point to avoid any mention of marriage. Whenever Karen brought up the topic, he would change the subject or pretend he didn’t hear her. Karen didn’t understand why Jack was so resistant to the idea, but she eventually gave up trying to convince him.
Years went by, and Jack and Karen grew old together. They had their ups and downs, but they always stayed committed to each other. One day, as they were sitting on the couch, Karen looked at Jack and said, “You know, I don’t need a piece of paper to know how much I love you.”
Jack smiled and took her hand. “I know, Karen,” he said, “I feel the same way.”
They sat there in silence for a moment, both realizing that the institution of marriage didn’t really matter as long as they had each other.
And from that day on, they lived happily ever after, annoying each other in their own special way.
