Boomers According To Google: Retire! Dance! Die! But First, Pass The Chocolate!

Born in 1954, I identify as a Baby Boomer. But what does that mean, really? Who exactly are we Boomers? And how does the world see us? I decided to perform a quick Google Search and find out.

I typed in the phrase “Boomers Are…”

Here’s what I got:

The most selfish generation ever.

Retiring.

Reluctant to retire.

Flocking to cities.

Evil.

Doomed.

More likely to succeed as entrepreneurs.

An important target market.

Broke.

Sensing that I didn’t yet have the complete picture, I decided to fine tune my results by Google-searching a few more Boomer-related questions and statements:

Boomers Need to…

Live to 100.

Get over yesterday.

Consider downsizing.

Worry about the health hazards they grew up with.

Consider the shingles vaccine

Get tested for Hepatitis C

Retire.

Die.

Why Do Boomers…

Plan to work longer?

Wear Blue Jeans?

Hate Millennials?

Have Hepatitis C?

Love baseball?

Baby Boomers…

Want to be young

Want to look younger

Suck.

All Baby Boomers…

Should be tested for Hepatitis C

Suck.

Boomers rarely…

Stop nurturing their children.

Baby Boomers enjoy…

Hair products.

Chocolate.

The ride

Baby Boomers can…

Be ignored.

Get pregnant.

Dance.

Afford to retire.

Baby Boomers remain…

In the workforce

Skeptical of the establishment

Relevant.

Baby Boomers never…

Say never.

Retire.

Grow up.

Had it so good

So who are we? We can dance! We can retire! (Unless we’re broke.) We can move to the city and downsize! We never grew up but we nurture our kids. We’re not young, but we want to look young. And we really should get vaccinated for Hep C.

Is any of this accurate? Who knows? If you want to discuss it, you can find me at the ball park. I’ll be the youthful-looking semi-retired 65-year-old offering the Millennial sitting next to me a chocolate chip cookie and telling him to get over himself.

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About The Author
Roz Warren
Roz Warren
Roz Warren writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times and has appeared on both the Today Show and Morning Edition. Roz is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library, and the editor of the ground-breaking Womens’ Glib humor collections, including titles like When Cats Talk Back and Men Are From Detroit, Women Are From Paris. She also curates the "Library Laughs" page on Facebook. Her work has been included in 10 Chicken Soup for the Soul collections. Roz Warren writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times and has been featured on both Morning Edition and the Today Show. Visit www.muchrack.com/roz-warren for more details.
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