Coyotes Vs. Roadrunners: Setting The Official Record Straight

We are going to be talking about coyotes and roadrunners, but first let get something straight.

It’s been said that we live in the “Information Age.”

Whoever came up with that is a total idiot – we live in the “Disinformation Age.”

Most people run around with a smart phone hanging on their belts that is an instantaneous and convenient portal via the internet to a huge chunk of all the information that has ever been accumulated by the human species. So with that cache of knowledge at our fingertips, we still continue to glibly accept all the nonsense, half truths, and complete falsehoods we’ve been immersed in since childhood.

Years ago, the Guinness Book of World Records was the paper argument arbitrator. The web has displaced it as a source, but we don’t avail ourselves of the knowledge.

There is no way I can possibly draw attention to all the BS and set all the records straight, but I’m going to at least try to reverse one commonly held ridiculous belief and right a massive injustice that has been perpetrated since September 17, 1949 – a date that should forever live in infamy.

Of all the disinformation that’s been circulating over all these years, for some insane reason, this is the one that really gets my hackles up.

Coyotes Vs. Roadrunners

coyotes

A Coyote can do 42.9 miles per hour and a stinking smartass obnoxious Road runner is only good for 19.9!! That’s right folks!  Old Wile E. Coyote needs to ditch the personal torture devices from Acme that he self-inflicts upon himself and just run old Beep-Beep to the ground – and fricassee him.

To add insult to injury, TV Guide once named Wile E. to it’s list of Nastiest Villains of All Time. Give me a break – all he’s doing is looking for lunch. What’s villainous about wanting to eat? I like to eat. I’ll bet you like to eat, too. Why shouldn’t old Wile E. like to eat, also?

It’s time for this canine injustice perpetrated by Warner Bros. since 1949 via their henchman, Chuck Jones and Michael Maltese, to be righted once and for all. Please join me in petitioning for a complete and public apology to clear the name of this beloved Southwestern character that has been defamed for so long. Text, e-mail, write a letter, or send a carrier pigeon to Hollywood and let them know how you feel about this egregious miscarriage of facts and justice!

PS – Something needs to be done about Warner Brothers’ totally obnoxious Wabbit, too!

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Reeves Motal
Reeves Motal
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