Before We Had CTRL+Z…
Way back when personal computers were first appearing on the desks of corporate America, I worked for Tandy, (original parent of Radio Shack and a huge conglomerate that was flying high until they “forgot who brung ‘em to the dance”), running computer training classes for a lot of the Fortune companies crowd. We taught everything from “that thing is called a mouse” to hard core C programming and network hardware and software configuration.
The tech folks were easy – show them where the bodies were buried and they were gleefully on their way. Most of the rest of the folks, despite their “I can handle this” demeanor, were scared witless. Computers with Windows was a new trick and lots of them were old dogs.
The Beauty Of A Keyboard Shortcut
To ease their minds, to ease the transition, and to help quell the fears, there was one thing I emphasized over and over again – the keyboard shortcuts.
Cut – CTRL+X
Copy – CTRL+C
Paste – CTRL+V
And the biggest and baddest of them all – CTRL+Z
CTRL+Z Is Easy To Love
“When you screw something up, you want to undo the damage – in other words, you want to undo the LAST thing you did. So just remember that the LAST letter of the alphabet is Z and the keystrokes to UNDO the last thing you did is CTRL+Z. It is the very best friend you will ever have on a computer. Press CTRL+Z and whatever you did never happened.”
This brought a lot of smiles and a huge boost in confidence.
Why just stop with computers? The whole world is running around with smart phones loaded with cat videos and useless apps (social media and similar ilk, I’m talking about you), so why not create a really useful app? A CTRL+Z undo app? Just open the app, tap CTRL+Z Undo and whatever problem you’ve got never happened. Think about the possibilities.
The Many Things We Can Undo!
“Gee officer, I’m sorry I was going a little fast, but just let me hit my CTRL+Z app. There we go, it never happened!”
Or a little more seriously, “Well Judge, I really regret everything, but CTRL+Z – it never happened. Case Dismissed!”
Got a fender bender? Hit CTRL+Z and you get to the intersection a minute late for the crash.
And since we are guys, we can undo a few of those little guy problems. You know, the ones that happened right after you said, “Here, hold my beer and watch this.” (In my case, this would also undo a number of “interesting” scars.)
Or how about you’ve got a report, test, presentation, whatever due tomorrow that you’ve put off to the last minute? CTRL+Z and you’ve got another week to procrastinate.
Think how popular it’d be with the politicians. None of them would ever “misspoke” again. CTRL+Z and all the incriminating, foolish, embarrassing, whatever words are gone.
Imagine the NFL with CTRL+Z. The pass was dropped in the end zone? CTRL+Z and Touchdown!! Games scores would be like 432 to 376. (Or maybe always a 0 to 0 tie if the other sides fans also have the CTRL+Z app.)
How about golf? No more shanked shots – no more hooks or slices. CTRL+Z and the ball is in the hole! When teeing off on a par 5, keep CTRL+Z-ing until there’s a 90 mph wind blowing behind you – and CTRL+Z until it drops in the cup. You could set a new course record of 18!
And speaking of 90 mph winds, Louisiana could CTRL+Z all the hurricanes. California and the rest of the West could CTRL+Z the wildfires. Earthquakes, volcanoes, asteroids – CTRL+Z all of them.
Think about a new era of domestic bliss. And if it’s not “bliss,” CTRL+Z and the marriage never happened. All the divorce lawyers would have to get real jobs.
The domestic CTRL+Z’s would get you painlessly out of situations like the following:
Wife: “Do you think I’ve lost weight?”
Husband: “Nah, you’re just as fat as ever.”
In this case, hitCTRL+Z twice – once to undo your words and once to undo the damage from her Smith and Wesson.
One more example:
Wife: “How do you like my new designer outfit?”
Husband: “Who designed it? Omar the Tentmaker?”
CTRL+Z twice again – she’s still got the loaded Smith and Wesson.
I tell you, Gentlemen, this is a multi-trillion dollar opportunity! Whoever can pull off a CTRL+Z app will be able to buy Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, and all the rest with pocket change.
PS – One last thing – 2020? Control Z the whole damn year out of existence!
