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Diarrhea Is Your friend, So Stop Complaining

Published: October 14, 2022

Our entire family came down with COVID recently and we’re all fine but I have a few observations. 

The first is a serious public service announcement: Don’t put your health at risk, get the vaccines. All three of us were vaccinated, but I was the only one who had recently gotten the booster, as my wife and son were not yet eligible. So what happened? Our son recovered quickly because he is vaccinated and he’s young, and my case was far milder than my wife’s – the difference the booster made in reducing symptoms was very noticeable. I hardly felt sick.

The vaccine gives you far less to worry about, it’s as simple as that.

My other observation is decidedly less serious, just a question I pondered during my quarantine: Why is diarrhea always considered a negative side effect? It’s time someone stood up for diarrhea, though preferably not during it.

Check out the list of COVID symptoms: Headaches (bad), congested sinuses (miserable), persistent cough (annoying), fatigue (have that when I’m well) and diarrhea (often exhilarating). 

diarrhea

Something doesn’t belong on that list. Here’s a few facts perhaps you have failed to consider:

  1. No symptom is your friend like diarrhea. You see these commercials on TV for various designer drugs and when they speed up the audio so they can whip through the 27 potential side effects in 4 seconds, invariably you hear diarrhea thrown in there along with heart trouble, sudden loss of blood pressure and maybe even death. That is so unfair. Those other things are awful, but diarrhea is here to help. It has identified something bad inside of you and is getting it out, and pronto. That’s what friends are for.
  2. Let’s end offensive phrases such as ‘a two-day bout with diarrhea.’ First of all, whose kidding who, there is no bout – you’re not really fighting anything. Purging, yes. Surrendering, absolutely. But the next time you have diarrhea, take a look at the work product of your friendship and ask yourself if you’d rather still have that inside of you. I think not. Isn’t it truly more of a soul-cleansing celebration?
  3.  Diarrhea is your most spontaneous friend. Yes, it can be a little selfish, but that’s part of diarrhea’s big personality. No matter what your plans were, a night on the town or watching a movie, when your friend diarrhea shows up unannounced as usual, cancel everything because the two of you are about to party. And the bash might start with a little dance, possibly even some running. Best of all, whatever your life worries may be, once diarrhea stops in, those things will be the furthest from your mind. 

In closing this long overdue defense, I’d like to point out that diarrhea should be credited for the positive side effects it delivers, mainly helping you rediscover the focused athlete in you. Many middle-aged individuals regain lost quickness with the help of their friend diarrhea, as well as the critical thinking skills to constantly calibrate their current distance from the nearest restroom and, if needed, how long it will take to get there.

As for who else might be in there, that’s really more their problem. But in my experience, once you tell people your friend diarrhea is visiting, they immediately recognize that’s a special relationship and they can’t compete. They tend to leave the two of you alone.

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About The Author
David Meeks
David Meeks
David Meeks has never hesitated to speak truth to power. He’s uncovered shady coal mine operators in Alabama, corrupt politicians in Louisiana and supported single fathers in Florida. When New Orleans flooded after Hurricane Katrina in 2005, Meeks, then Sports Editor of The Times-Picayune, refused an evacuation order. He commandeered a newspaper truck, assembled a team of journalists and won two Pulitzer Prizes. He has worked for the Los Angeles Times, Associated Press, South Florida Sun-Sentinel and was the Managing Editor of USA Today Sports. He is Alabama-born and Michigan-raised, and today lives with his family in Washington, D.C.
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