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70 Is The New Never: Feeling My Age And Feeling Inspired At The Same Time

Tina Turner at 73: A True Legend At Work

I am exhausted

I just watched this incredible Tina Turner music video. It wore me out. I think I may have pulled a hammy. She is running and dancing and singing and she can be seen fearlessly racing down a giant boom suspended above a rabid audience. It is spectacular, and so is she. And more than that, Tina was around 73 years old when this concert was filmed. That’s more than ten years older than I am.  Are you kidding me?   This should give me, and all other guys in their early sixties, a lot of hope.   

It’s Simply Not Going To Happen

But then again, who am I kidding? I am never, and by that I mean never ever, going to race down a giant boom suspended above a rabid audience. Not in my wildest dreams, and not even when I was in much better shape than I am today. Not in my teens, not in my twenties, not ever. It’s just not going to happen.

I have a mental list of things that aren’t going to happen.  Some of them are below.  And while I can appreciate the fact that a 100 year-old went sky diving, it’s just another thing that I won’t be doing.  I never have, and I never will.   

Some Other Nevers:  

  • Buy a pickup truck
  • Race down a giant suspended boom
  • Go sky diving
  • Eat pig’s feet
  • Bungee jump
  • Go to France
  • Color my hair pink
  • Swim the English Channel
  • Lift up some dude (or get lifted up by some dude) on a televised talent show
  • Slam dunk on a basketball court

It’s Never Too Late To Be Who You Want To

Look, I get it. Some people are late bloomers and don’t hit their creative stride until their later years. (Though NOT Tina Turner, to be sure). Grandma Moses wasn’t really into painting until her late 80’s.

never

The actual Moses in the Bible herded sheep for forty years before he brought an entire nation out of Egypt. The guys in this video clip may have decided years ago that they had a talent for lifting and being lifted, but I’d bet they didn’t go professional until the older man was at least 80.  Bravo. Am I going to do any of that? Become a world-renown painter? Nope. Rescue millions of people? I doubt it. Lift or be lifted on a televised variety show? I don’t think so.  

Other people, mostly men I’m thinking, create a Bucket List of things they want to accomplish while they still can. There was even a movie about that sort of thing. But I’m not into lists of things I want to accomplish. I already did all that. I’m more into a list of things I want to avoid.  Granted, it’s a much longer list. Yet I’ve learned that the AGH, or Ain’t Gonna Happen list as I like to call it, is varied and colorful, chock-full of amazing places, delectable delicacies, and exciting adventures that I can, with just a little effort, avoid like the plague.   

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I’m gonna go ice my hammy.

Join us in the Manopause Community Forum! Whether you have a bucket list, want to make a bucket list or fully believe in the “Ain’t Gonna Happen” list, we want to hear from you in our community forum. Tell us what inspires you or turns you completely off that you never want to do!

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About The Author
Glen Granholm
Glen Granholm
Glen Granholm has written several books. You Gotta Be Kidding! The Ultimate Trivia Quizbook and its sequel You REALLY Gotta Be Kidding! were released in the early 90's. In the early 2000's Glen's Experience, Strength and Hope; A Love Story was published by Inkwater Press. In 2017 Glen's first novel, Cowphoon was published. Cowphoon II: Deja Moo All Over Again and the non-fiction People Get Ready are set for release next spring. Since 2006 he's worked in California in the earthquake retrofit business, and is a frequent speaker about earthquakes throughout the United States.
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