It’s been a while since I last wrote. I’ve been busy dating. Actually, I was dating one man for the past three months. That’s over but, I digress. “They” say dating is like riding a bicycle. You don’t forget! Boy are “they” wrong. It’s DEFINITELY different then it was back in the day. In my day anyway!
I thought I’d touch upon some of the dating lessons that I’ve learned over the past 3 months. Hopefully I can pass along some of my newly obtained wisdom to you. I learned some new things and some things over again.
The 12 Dating Lessons I Learned In My 60s
- To watch for the red flags and pay attention to them. You don’t have to run away at the first glimpse of a red flag but, pay attention. If it shows up a few times run the other way. FAST!
- Watch what people do. You know the saying “Actions speak louder than words”. It’s true! Make sure their actions match their words.
- Slow and steady wins the race. There’s no rush! Nobody at this age is having children. There’s no rush to the altar. Most of us have already been there/done that. So, make sure you’re with someone for four full seasons before moving in and/or getting married.
- If you are feeling the love, make sure it’s real before you disclose those feelings to your new love. Make sure it’s not lust. Make sure you mean it. The “L” word is not something that anyone, at any age, should take lightly.
- Keep it current. Don’t spend a lot of time talking about past relationships – good or bad. Don’t give up too much information about your past shenanigans either. Those stories can wait a bit as well.
- Ask the right questions. Ask the questions that are important to you but don’t make it seem like an interview. That is boring and quite frankly, a turn-off.
- Listen. We have two ears and one mouth, use them proportionately. You’ve heard this before but it’s true. We’re all anxious to share about ourselves BUT remember you’re trying to get to know someone else.
- Spend quality time together and enjoy the “honeymoon” phase (which I think is the first 3 months). Keep the heavy stuff for later.
- Be willing to compromise. It’s actually a good thing too because you will be more open to experiencing things/life from another person’s perspective. Get used to it because all successful relationships depend on compromise.
- Step out of your comfort zone. Try it (whatever “it” is)! You may like it and open your world to other things.
- Be your authentic self. There’s a sign that I love: “You may be too much for some people, those aren’t your people”. That about sums it up. Be yourself! Let the good, bad and ugly shine through. It will eventually.
- Don’t settle. There is more than one person out there for each of us. Wait for the right one. It will be worth it. Don’t spend too much time with someone if you know that they’re not your forever person. Time is too short.
One Final Piece Of Advice
Finally, I want to share some advice that one of my best friends shared with me when I first got divorced and was thinking about dating again. She told me to write a list of things that were “deal-breakers”. I was surprised because years ago, before I got married, my list consisted of all the things that I was looking for in a man, a partner.
But, her suggestion was right on. It helped clarify those things that I absolutely couldn’t and wouldn’t deal with. It was great advice and it really helped! Try it. You could also make another list of what it is you are looking for, but, the “deal-breaker” list is SUPER important.
The thing is, we all want to find love. We’re all out there looking to meet someone to share our time with or, for some of us (like me), our life with. Let’s find what we’re looking for by being honest with your new love but most importantly, be honest with yourself. Keep it real!
So, go out there and find your person. You now have some more insight, advice and hopefully wisdom to navigate the wonderful world of dating in your 60s.