In every relationship, there are different types and levels of attraction. In a perfect world, it would be wonderful to find a partner who satisfies all levels and types of attraction. Surprisingly, living in a perfect world, when it comes to your relationship, is really not that far-fetched. Partners who check off all of our attraction boxes truly do exist. The more attraction boxes we are able to check off in our relationship, the better our chances are for a long and successful partnership.
The key, of course, is to keep these attraction categories in mind as you navigate through the world of dating as a 50-plus single or work to fine tune a lacking category in your current relationship. What may be lacking in one attraction category can be balanced out by an extreme attraction in a different category. Ultimately, with time, effort and commitment, every level of attraction can ultimately be satisfied.
Types of Relationship Attraction:
- Sexual attraction
Sexual attraction is the most powerful component of our relationship and by far, the most important level of attraction to achieve. A sexually close couple can overcome the hardest of obstacles in their relationship. Sexual attraction is the glue that bonds a couple. Being sexually attracted to your partner is the nucleus of the relationship. We can never underestimate the importance of being turned on by our partner.
Sexual attraction in our relationship is, oh, so powerful. A sexually satisfied partner will move mountains for you. Sex (with the right partner) will create a blissful moment in time and carry through to all aspects of your life.
Once your desire for one another is gone, and the sexual attraction has dwindled into a non-priority state of existence, that leaves little to cling to in the relationship.
- Nurturing attraction
Hands down, the sexiest thing about a man is his ability to nurture. The level of peace, comfort, and security that comes to us when our partner nurtures us is indescribable. In many ways, nurturing attraction takes us back to a womb-like state, where we feel so loved and comforted by our very own partner.
It is very easy to be attracted to a nurturer. When our partner nurtures us, we feel connected. When we are nurtured, we feel safe and secure. A nurturing partner is a calming partner. He rubs his fingers through your hair. He tells you how beautiful you are. He sends you a text to let you know he has dinner covered. He rubs your feet. He rubs your back. He fills up your gas tank. He leaves you sweet notes on your windshield. What’s not to love about a nurturer?
Sandy: One night I was so sick I could not get out of bed. My husband came over to me with a makeup wipe and gently removed my makeup from my face. I honestly do not think I have ever felt closer to him.
Tami: I pretty sure I fell into deeper love with my husband when he spent Thanksgiving dinner holding a damp cloth to my head in the dark basement while our family celebrated upstairs. I had a migraine from hell and he never left my side.
- Friendship attraction
The old saying, “Marry your best friend” is spot on. The friendship attraction is like girl time, just with your guy. Or guy time with your girl. It’s being able to talk to your partner as if you were talking to your best friend. Having a partner who is also your friend is true icing on the cake of love.
- Companion attraction
When you are attracted to your partner as a companion, you share many of the same interests and activities. You may be attracted to him/her because you share a love of travel. As travel companions, there is a closeness that develops as you explore the world together. Similarly, you could be attracted to a love of cooking together or possibly, a love of wine tasting.
The lack of companion attraction comes into play when your partner might not share interest in the same things as you. Ideally, the companion attraction should ultimately line up with the friendship attraction, whereas you are friends with your partner and share many of the same interests.
If you are lucky enough to line up the friendship and companion attraction with your partner, you have a winning combination for an adventurous life together.
- Sports and Recreation attraction
She loves the Dallas Cowboys and you find that hot as hell! The fact that she supports the same team as you, quite frankly, turns you on. Things get even hotter, when she puts on her Cowboys jersey for the game every Sunday.
Sports attraction is an attraction to your partner because she/he loves and participates in the same recreation activities as you. She snowboards with you. She loves to hit golf balls with you. She hits the bowling alley with you. She challenges you on the tennis court. She meets you at the gym after work for a workout.
Sports and Recreation attraction forms a bond that develops out of a common love of something. Sports bonds create unity between the two of you. Sports bonds fuel an attraction to each other. Friendly competition and pushing each other to excel are great bi-products of a sports attraction.
- Professional attraction
A professional attraction is an attraction to the brainpower of your partner. It is an attraction to the drive and professional ambition of your partner. This level of attraction is important because it is the driving force behind the respect you ultimately have for each other.
In a relationship, we want to watch our partners grow along side us. As we grow and better ourselves, we want to see our partner doing the same. We are attracted to partners of “like mind” and “like status.”
It is imperative, within your relationship, to have mutual respect for each other and foster the professional attraction prong through growth, drive, and professional ambition.
Join the chat in our community forum to talk about attraction with your partners (past or present)!