When it comes to your relationship, you might be surprised at the amount of power you have when it comes to maintaining marital harmony.
Contrary to popular belief, women are fairly low maintenance when it comes to preserving the marital status quo. However, here is the funny thing about women: She will put up with a lot of bullshit for a very long time before she ultimately “checks out” of the marriage. I must caution you: Once a woman emotionally checks out, she is done. When she is done, every morsel of her being will be removed from the connection, and it is virtually impossible for her to check back in.
Whether she does not feel nurtured, feels insignificant, or has lost her physical connection to you, the risk of checkout can be minimized by employing the following super powers you didn’t even know you had:
The Power Of Nurture
Hands down, the most attractive thing about a man is his ability to nurture. You have no idea the power you hold when you nurture your partner. If you are not a natural nurturer, I suggest you dig deep and find that nurture chip within you.
When you nurture a woman, she feels connected to you. When you nurture her, she feels safe and secure. When she feels close to you, she wants to have sex with you. Rub your fingers through her hair. Tell her she is beautiful. Send her a text to let her know you have dinner covered.
Rub her feet. Rub her back. Fill up her gas tank. Leave a note on her windshield. Have you any idea the effect you have on her by simply doing the dishes? Yes, guys, scrubbing the toilet actually makes us feel close to you.
Sandy: One night I was so sick I could not get out of bed. My husband came over to me with a makeup wipe and gently removed my makeup from my face. I honestly do not think I have ever felt closer to him.
Tami: I pretty sure I fell into deeper love with my husband when he spent Thanksgiving dinner holding a damp cloth to my head in the dark basement while our family celebrated upstairs. I had a migraine from hell and he never left my side.
As you can see, the small and thoughtful things you do have the biggest impact on your relationship.
One more thing: If your nurturing has led you to encourage her to take a nap after a wakeful night or you urge her to go with her girlfriends for a weekend getaway, do not throw it back at her at a later time. Do not embrace your nurturing niceness and then use it against her during your next disagreement. By doing so, you not only create resentment, but you have now negated all the nurturing niceness you sent her way. Negative niceness is really no niceness at all.
The Power Of Talk
In a word: Communicate. I am sure you know by now that most women love to talk. We love to share our feelings, talk about our day, discuss issues that are bothering us, and use you as a sounding board for life’s ups and downs. In return, we want you to share your thoughts with us. Stop making us work so hard to extract information from you.
When you show interest and communicate back to us, we feel close and connected to you. When we feel connected to you, we want to have sex with you. (Are you starting to see a pattern here?)
When you offer no feedback or concern, we do not feel important to you. Participate in her life, and let her participate in yours. The silent treatment and pouting are major turnoffs that serve only to further the divide between the two of you. Your sweet words of interest and information are magical.
One more thing: Do not run away and shut down at the first sign of contention. It is perfectly normal to disagree. Communication, rather than retreat, is the key to a solid and loving union.
The Power of Sex
Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about sex. Do not make sex an issue when it is not an issue. The more you push for sex, the further the divide. Trust me, we know precisely how many days it has been since we last had sex with you.
Take a step back and look in at yourself. Are you someone you would want to be intimate with? Help your partner to want to want you. Make her a priority in your life. Nurture her. Communicate with her. Be a selfless lover and meet her sexual needs. Work to keep sex from becoming routine.
Do not be a controlling and overbearing pest. If she wants to spend time with you, she will. If the feeling of love and desire is mutual, you will both want and need sexual closeness.
One last thing: If you want to have sex, you need to make yourself desirable. Simply being her life partner does not automatically make her want to have sex with you. This is especially true as we glide into our golden years together. Personal grooming coupled with nurturing communication will work wonders on your connection and may even make you feel like Superman.