Everyone is looking for the secrets to successful sex after 50. You know that myth floating around that every male libido drops after 50? Sure, some men may notice a decrease in their sex drive in later years, but the truth is that many men undergo a sexual evolution; one in which the priority shifts from ‘performing’ to ‘experiencing.’ It’s no longer about having to prove your sexual prowess, trying to break records with your staying power or impressing your partner with sex so vigorous it’s capable of breaking the bed. Hopefully, at this stage of your life, you’ve realized that the peak lovemaking experience really lies with the mutual giving and receiving of pleasure. Besides, it’s a lot less work.
Here are a few helpful tips that can make you an even better and happier lover then you already are. Guaranteed to give you an improved sexual experience or your money back…assuming you hired a hooker who gives refunds.
Work on the Foreplay
Even though the urgency in your sex drive may have diminished, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience fireworks in bed. (And we don’t mean sticking a Roman Candle up your butt, so get that idea right out of your head.) Work your way up to them by extending the foreplay. You’ll not only stir up a strong erection but it will give you ample time to decipher what your partner wants and vice-versa. Remember that with men, sexual arousal is often driven by visuals. We like to look at sexy stuff. That’s why pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry.
If the comfort level is there, add some dirty talk into the mix; practice how you can go from naughty to nasty. It can be a stimulating experience and help reduce performance anxiety. But make sure your partner is into it. If they’re not, this could create a very awkward situation that there’s no coming back from. But in the privacy and confines of your bedroom, there should be endless possibilities.
Make Outercourse the Main Course
Since the dawn of time—or so it may feel—intercourse has dominated sex talk, i.e. getting the penis into the vagina (also known as hitting a home run, the old in/out, making the beast with two backs, filling the cream donut, getting some stank on the hangdown, etc.) That limited view of sex is keeping you away from a host of erotic possibilities. In short, being obsessed with screwing is screwing you out of great love making.
Instead, try focusing on ‘outercourse’ – sex that involves erotic massaging, oral sex and playing with sex toys. Try Karezza Sex, where partners focus on heightening each other’s physical sensations without any pressure to orgasm. You can also go for Tantric Sex where the emphasis is on syncing breathing, kissing, caressing, and slow intercourse. Taking your time during sex will make it an unforgettable experience rather than a chore to be checked off your list of Things To Do.
Know the Tools
As we age, male and female hormones fluctuate. Women may experience vaginal dryness just like men might not ejaculate the same way they used to. After years of coming like a race horse, many men have to settle for the anti-climatic climax. Not to mention the dreaded erectile dysfunction. Also known as ED, which kind of sucks for every guy named Ed who gets it. Even if you never suffer from it, after a certain age, you’ll never wake up to the same morning wood you once did.
Depending on the situation, you and your partner may want to consult a doctor for guidance. Also consider using good water-based lubrication during intercourse to ensure that the sex doesn’t take a painful turn. In fact, the slip ‘n’ slide sensation of the lube can be a booster for those with a good sexual imagination. It can get messy, but good sex should be messy.
Be Regular with the Sex
When it comes to going from good to great to spectacular sex, there’s nothing like a lot of practice. And we’re not just talking about the kind you get on your own. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Good pornography can be educational and informational, as well as masturbational (which is not really a word, but should be.)
Plus, did you know that post-50 sex offers a wide spectrum of benefits? You’ll sleep better, feel happier, and look better (burn those calories!) and according to growing scientific evidence, enjoy better cognitive functioning as you age. Not to mention that shit-eating grin you’ll walk around with the whole next day.
They say, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Maybe not. But you can teach an old man new sex tricks. And now that you just learned a few, go out and get ’em tiger!