We’ve all heard of the Kama Sutra. For the most part, it’s not really what we all think it is, but yes, the book does contain chapters describing about 400 sexual positions. That’s one of the reasons it’s been popular and salacious for a couple of thousand years!
The Kama Sutra is thought to have been written in the 4th century BC by Vatsyayana. Written in Sanskrit, it is a compendium of prose and poetry that deals with living a good life, having meaningful relationships, and seeking sexual pleasure. I’ll be focusing on the latter.
The Kama Sutra has been translated into almost every language over the centuries, and was even edited to suit the social mores of the era. More often than not, particularly in Western Societies, the book was severely restricted or entirely banned. As we know, we all want what we can’t have, so the demand for the book was always significant.
Imagine that. 400 sexual positions. It boggles the mind, given the small number of parts involved in the activity. But having reviewed the variety of positions described in the Kama Sutra, I quickly realized that unless you are a performer in Cirque du Soleil, or are double-jointed in every joint, physical carnage rather than carnal pleasure could await you. And nothing takes the “wow” out of sex like a dislocated disc or a snapped tendon. Ow!
Using pictures of stick dummies capable of any joint position, here are some examples of positions we Mano-men might want to avoid.
The “Deadlift 69”
This one is a tortuous position straight from the world of professional wrestling!
You could both be in the hospital in traction if you’re not careful!
The “Defying Gravity”
Cirque Du Soleil, right? I saw this in one of their shows, but they had clothes on and had rippling muscles.
You’ll be focusing so much on your balance and trying not not to let her slip through your sweaty hands you’ll forget why you got into this position in the first place!
This is kind of a variation on the standard wheelbarrow, as it appears that the woman is facing the man. Still.
A lot of work is required by the couple, but at least it’s a four-point grounding, so it does take the strain and danger to a lower level. Try it if you want!
The Manopause.com Sexy 6!
So now, here are the 6 positions that should work at almost any age, and they’re in no particular order. And I left out the “normal” missionary position, the standard “69,” and the “who’s on first?” Remember, you still need to be in reasonable health to engage in sexual activity.
The “Reverse Cowgirl”
Or as I like to call it, the “Lazy Dude.”
The woman is in control here, but also has to do most of the work. There is an argument that there is more clitoral stimulation with the reverse cowgirl than the standard saddle ride, but also more risk of shearing off your penis!
The “Leaning Cowgirl”
I call this the “Lazy Dude 2.” Once again, the woman is doing most of the work.
The occasional masculine pelvic thrust is helpful and thoughtful!
The “Double Decker”
Staying with the “woman on top” theme, this position requires both parties to exert themselves.
But, boy that looks comfy! Am I right?
This is a variation on the standard missionary position, with the added twist of nearly closed legs!
Dangerously good indeed. But it requires maximum effort for the payoff!
Special delivery! This is like a lap dance with a happy ending for both of you!
Guys, you’ll need those back and pelvic muscles here! Keep an ice pack and some Ben-Gay nearby for afterwards!
Need I say more? Guys, if you want this, you’ll have to put in the effort.
She can coast on this one if she wants, but that’s only fair, right?
And there you have it, 6 fun positions that should be relatively safe and exciting. Obviously, add whatever you want to the repertoire, but at least these are survivable! Even 2000 years ago, it was all about the booty!
Join the conversation at the Manopause Community Forum and let’s talk positions!