Dreams of marriage in my 30s eluded me. The chance to have a family, children and all the things I thought I wanted just never happened. Little did I know, I ended up with a much sweeter deal by finding my partner later in life. I married my husband when I was 45, and he is 14 years my senior. Whether you experienced divorce, or simply never met the right person, let me share with you many of the reasons why getting married when you are older is a good idea.
Better Communication
This is the reward that comes with the years of being in relationships we both didn’t want. When you get older, you tend to define what you will and won’t tolerate. With age comes a certain confidence and an ease with communicating your needs. We are also of the age that called each other and talked on dates, instead of texting, making the dating experience more authentic.
Better Intimacy
Yes! Meeting a man in his 50s was a beautiful thing. Older men have enough experience to know what women want and need. Having experienced other lovers, both partners are more likely to explore together and enjoy what really makes them feel good. Of course for some, there can be some issues with virility as we age, but there are little pills, remedies, and counseling for that.
No Bullshit
By the time you reach your 40s or 50s, you are done with all the BS. The dating, the divorces, and the crazy partners are just no longer tolerated. Either your current partner is right for you or you can be happy just to be on your own.
Financial Security
While this may not be true for everyone, meeting someone later in life should mean you have your shit together. By this time, a man should have a solid career, a 401K, a working vehicle, and maybe even a wine cellar.
More Time With Each Other
Whether you have children or not, these are the years when they are out of the house and you don’t need to worry about kids invading your space. If one of you comes to the marriage with children, you won’t be entangling too much of your time raising them. Your retirement years can also mean more time together to enjoy the things you have in common.
Combat Loneliness
Getting older alone can be an ominous thought. There are no longer kids in the house, friends may become more distant, and family members move apart or pass away. Having a partner to share life with as we reach our golden years can help alleviate loneliness and isolation.
There are certainly drawbacks to marrying later in life. Most of us are set in our ways well into our 40s and 50s and this means compromise, and plenty of it. Adjusting to a marriage after being single for so many years wasn’t all butterflies and sunsets. You also might just need to consider that you may be changing this lovely person’s diapers in a few short years.
The bottom line is: If a partner for life is something you want, keep yourself open to it, no matter what your age. It’s worth it.
