It’s been a while since I’ve written an article. I’ve been busy! Now… not so busy anymore. Just broke up with a man I was dating for one year. The breakup has freed up a lot of time and has given me a lot of writing material that I’d like to share. Here goes…
Dating After 50
Everyone says that dating is different when you’re “older”. Now that I have firsthand knowledge, I have to say that it’s true. Better in some ways and not so much in others. Better because we are more sure of what we do want and what we don’t want. We’re smarter, more mature, more experienced. Not so much because we’ve aged and perhaps have more wrinkles, cellulite, more weight around the middle, some aches and pains and along with that are the insecurities about how we look and feel.
Men Are From Mars…
What isn’t different is that at the end of the day, “Men are from mars and Women are from venus”. It’s so cliché but SOOOO true. We are different!! We think differently and it doesn’t matter how young or old you are.
I knew when I started dating again after being married for 18 years, that this time around it would be, had to be different, than when I was dating in my 20’s and 30’s. I have grown and changed in so many ways! I now have higher standards, better boundaries and different needs, wants. I don’t have to worry about my time clock ticking anymore. Those days are gone and, with that, the worries that go along with it no longer concern me. I won’t tolerate games and infidelity to name just a few. All of these things make it better and easier.
The Baggage That Comes With Experience
The bummer is that now that we’re older, we have more baggage. We all do! And, now we just have more of it. I also think it’s harder when you’re older because the playing field is narrower. There are a lot more dealbreakers than there were before.
For example, at this age, I don’t want to date a man that has young children that still live at home. I don’t want to be tied down with young kids. Grandchildren are great. I’d love to babysit BUT, I don’t want to worry about someone else’s young children at this stage of my life. Been there, done that!
The Health Problems That Come With Age
Then, of course, there’s the health issues that people struggle with as they get older. I am extremely hesitant to start dating a man who has serious or chronic health issues as they will only get worse as time goes on. It’s one thing to stick by someone you’ve been with that gets sick. Its quite another to start off a new relationship with someone who has health challenges.
Are We All Set In Our Ways?
Finally, I believe that at this point in our lives we basically are who we are and change isn’t very likely to happen. So, unless you’re willing to accept someone “as is”, the good, bad and ugly, it’s going to be tough. Although people can always grow and learn it’s highly unlikely that they will change the essence of who they have become at this stage in their life. We also become less pliable, more set in our ways as we get older and, compromise is a bit more challenging.
So, there ya have it. It’s not easy out there. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. But anything worth having is worth waiting for.
That said, I will keep trying to find that needle because I think it’s worth it when you finally find your love. Keep on keepin on my friends. There’s someone for everyone!