I NEVER thought I’d be dating in my 60s. NEVER. Did I mention Never?
But, we make plans and God laughs. So, here I am at 60 navigating the wonderful world of dating. Add COVID-19 to the mix and then you can just shoot me. Like it’s not difficult enough trying to find that special someone during normal times.
There’s so much that needs to be in alignment. You have to have chemistry, be geographically desirable and can’t have too much “baggage.” I ask you, who is in their 50s or 60s without any issues/baggage? They can’t be too tall or too short. They need to be nice but not too nice because “Nice guys finish last.” They need to be divorced, not just separated, because they might still go back to the ex. Yes. That’s a real concern. But, if they’re divorced they’re probably paying alimony and/or child support and won’t have enough left over to take you out. If they’ve never been married there’s a whole slew of other issues at play and you need to figure them out as well.
It seems that on-line dating is the only way to meet people now. There’s no place to go and meet people and, if and when there is, we all have to wear masks so we really can’t check each other out. Who knows what’s lurking behind the mask? Bad teeth, a mustache, crooked nose? Who knows? It’s like Halloween every day!
So, you finally submit to on-line dating which comes with its very own unwritten and mostly unspoken rules. That’s really tricky too because everyone seems to have a different set of rules that they follow and then expect others to follow as well. It’s like when people suggest that you stay away from posting anything related to politics on social media. However, everyone seems to be posting about politics anyway.
What to do? To be completely honest, it’s completely exhausting trying to figure out what to do and when. Ugh!
I decided to just do what I think is right as the situation arises. My advice is do the right thing, be respectful and treat others as you would like to be treated. It seems to be working for the most part and to the best of my knowledge. So far, nobody has cursed me out. So that’s a plus.
You know what’s really weird though…? Many of my friends that are on on-line dating sites are talking to the same guys as I am. Because we are in the same age group and live relatively close to one another, we are seeing the same men pop up on the dating apps. It’s no secret that women talk and compare notes. For those men who don’t know or follow the unwritten Rules, that can’t be good for them. So, I’ve come up with a few suggestions for the guys out there.
- Don’t ghost. Man up. If you’re not interested, let us know. We will survive.
- Don’t string us along. If you’re not interested, let us know. We’ll live. We’re not that invested yet.
- Don’t check your other dating apps while you’re out with us. You can do that later! They’ll still be there. I promise.
- Dress according to the plan. You’re a big boy. Think ahead and plan your wardrobe. We do. You can too.
- Don’t lie…about anything. Your age, where you live, what you do, what you look like or your marital status. We’ll find out eventually. Honesty really is the best policy!
- Pick up the check on the first meet and greet or date. If you can’t afford a nice restaurant, meet for coffee. If you can’t afford coffee…don’t date.
- Texting is great to start but, after a day or two, pick up the phone. I know its 2020 but we are from a different generation and a real conversation goes a long way.
That’s it for now. I’ll be back with some more dating tips and tricks soon. Until then…good luck out there. You’re gonna need it.
Check out these other selections from Manopause:
