As I mentioned in my first blog on this medium, I am quite new to dating. Having been married and with my ex for a total of 19 years, I’m starting over and there’s a whole new set of rules this time around.
If you’re hesitant about getting out there again know that there are many silver linings to dating at this age. This time around there’s no expectations or worries about time-lines. Most of us at this point in life have already been married so there’s no pressure from the outside world on that end. The women at this age are too old to have children so there’s no biological time clock ticking. It’s all good and, in fact, it’s easier. We’ve been there and done that. We’re smarter, more experienced and we know what we want and don’t want. I, for one, feel empowered. I don’t necessarily like being older but I do like being wiser.
Dating in my 20s, 30s and now in my 60s is VERY different. Back then, there were “Rules of Engagement.” For example, a “nice” girl didn’t sleep with a guy until or after date #3. That was definitely a thing! You could mess around but you weren’t supposed to “go all the way”. Also, going all the way was something reserved for a committed relationship.
F*ck The Regular Rules
Now I am seeing and doing things differently. I’m 60. Fuck the rules. I’m going to do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. Those are my rules. You do you but be true to yourself.
Many of my friends have their opinions around this, as I do, and as you will. But the truth is, all the rules go out the window when you meet someone that you are interested in. Then we just seem to rationalize what works for us anyway. Do yourself a favor: don’t rationalize. You don’t have to. You’re a grown up and you make your own decisions about what is right for you and when.
That isn’t to say you shouldn’t take precautions. You should! Sorry, I know the “should” word is a difficult one for us and brings up stuff from the past around being told what to do. But, with COVID and other transmittable diseases, I’m thinking we “should” all be safe rather than sorry. So, guys, here are some helpful hints:
The COVID Dating Rules
- If you find someone you’re interested in, consider getting tested for COVID before you intend on “making a move” and talk to the person you’re dating to see if they’ll do the same.
- It is a good and prudent idea to limit the amount of people you’re dating during COVID, at least until you’ve had both of your vaccinations.
- Don’t expect that if we go out with you that we owe you sex after date #3. Stop counting. If we like you and there’s chemistry it will happen.
- Make sure you’re both on the same page. If you want to have sex without a commitment, let us know. Then, we’ll let you know if we want to have sex with you. See how easy this is.
- Condoms. Buy them, bring them just in case, and use them if you’re lucky enough to have the opportunity! We have to deal with other things like birth control and having babies. You got this one.
- Call or text the next day. It doesn’t cost anything, doesn’t take up too much time and it will make us feel good. No harm-no foul. Just do it!
- Communication is essential. Be honest. Don’t ghost. Say what you want/need/think/feel but do so respectfully.
We’re all out there looking for that special someone to share time with. Maybe even to share our lives with. Respect goes a long way so do unto others…
Until next time…