Most people feel more awkward talking about sex than they do about having it, and many others simply avoid talking about the subject altogether. But to live up to your MSP – Maximum Sexual Potential (we made that up), you have to be able to discuss it with your lover. Otherwise, you’re like one of those people who only want to make love in the dark because they’re afraid you’ll notice the imperfections in their body or the funny faces they make when they climax. And nobody does their best work in the dark.
So let’s be frank and move past the “I can’t do it the way I used to” and “can I still have a sex life at my age?” mentality and talk about what men look for in their partners once they’ve crossed the big Five-Oh. So, what does a man over 50 want in bed? (Other than the TV remote?)
While it’s easy to think that all men like the same things sexually, as men mature with age, so do their needs. This means, what a 50-year old man wants in bed is going to be significantly different from a 20 or 30 something wants. By the age of 50, an older man knows what turns him on and what doesn’t, both socially and with regards to intimacy.
A Confident Lover
Ask any man and they’ll tell you how sexy it is to be with a woman who is sexually confident. The truth is, men appreciate women who understand their own sexuality. What an older man wants is someone who is confident in their own skin, and more importantly, someone who isn’t afraid to show their intimate side. Middle-aged men may still be getting used to aggressive women in the office, but they love a take charge woman in the bedroom.
Communication is key to any type of relationship, and the same goes for so-called May-December relationships. What 50-year old men like in bed is a woman who isn’t afraid to tell them what they really want, and can communicate their feelings without being shy or uncomfortable. Older men don’t have time to play games. By age 50, most men have had enough partners to know not everything works for every woman. So they really appreciate a woman who is honest, direct and horny.
A Spontaneous Lover
Surprises are the way to go once you turn 50. Waiting for the stars to align so that you can plan the perfect romantic evening is just too much pressure and rarely comes off as well as you hoped. Instead of planning your big evening, make things happen on a dime, shoot from the hip and go with the flow. Let the love making happen that way, too. Don’t overthink it. Remember, it’s a normal bodily function and should come naturally, like taking a shit. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best analogy. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Which is fine, if you are. Who are we to judge?
A Partner You Can Satisfy
Let’s face it, some men are selfish lovers and don’t care if their partner is satisfied or not. And most men know that once they’re done, that’s pretty much it for the night. (Unless they’re using pharmaceuticals to enhance their performance and get at least a 10 minute break.) So a good man will want to take care of his partner before he takes his turn. Once a man turns 50, he wants to be with a woman he knows he can satisfy. There’s nothing that makes a man feel better and more powerful than thinking he’s a great lover and just gave his partner the best sex of her life. Even if he knows it’s not true.
More than “Just Sex”
Contrary to how they were in their younger days, many 50-year old men want women who aren’t in a hurry to get to the main event. Maybe it’s because they’ve started to learn how to slow down and to enjoy life, to appreciate lingering sunsets and to savor delicious food. Or maybe it’s just because they don’t have the staying power they once did and they don’t want it to be over so quickly. Whatever the reason, they’ve learned there’s more to sex than just intercourse. After 50, many men appreciate more cuddling, caressing and other forms of foreplay in order to postpone penetration for as long as they can hold out.
At the end of the day, you’re only as old as you feel. So instead of looking at sex after 50 as some gloomy prognostication, you should see it as a whole new journey of exploration. Now’s the time to make the change you think you need to enjoy greater intimacy and have a more fulfilled sex life.